There can be any number of reasons why people do these jobs, sometimes these people may not even be aware why they are settling for such roles (and settling is exactly what they are doing). This also extends to non-working roles such as those in relationships. For instance; parent, child, carer, or partner. These roles can become habitual, to the extent that they are no longer even acknowledged, and then become part of the identity of the individual.
Is that what you want? Do you want this role to define you, to become your identity? Is that who your are? or could you be so much more?
If you're dissatisfied with your lot in life, then it isn't too late to change it. It will require hard work and perseverance, but it will be worth it. Here are some things which you can examine, to help find that passion again.
- Ask yourself what this role represents for you, and what remaining in it provides you (be brutally honest). For something such as work, it can be merely a way to pay the bills for one person. For another, their job can feel like their life's calling, and is incredibly fulfilling. But staying in a role which has been dictated to you, can be a way to 'not rock the boat', which may provide stability and validation by others - satisfying a need for acceptance, and even love in personal roles.
- Get mindful and listen to your gut. You may have been suppressing your intuition for a while, now is the time to get back in touch with your instincts. Do you feel that little flutter in your stomach that keeps you ever-so-slightly on edge all the time? Or is it a cold, hard, numb feeling in your heart that says "you've shut yourself down"? Look for anything which feels like resistance and tension. This will be a sign that you don't feel aligned with what you are doing. If you feel light and effortless in your role, then you are doing fine. If you dread doing the relevant activity, then that is a clear sign you aren't happy.
- Analyse how you feel about the role at different levels, and what your ideal situation for each would be. This may include;
- Environment in which it takes place.
- Behaviour it involves (for yourself and others).
- Your capability in that area.
- The beliefs and values expressed in that role, and how well they align with your own.
- The identity you have in that role, and how closely this resembles your true identity.
- What possible alternatives have you either dismissed, or not even entertained before? Why did these appeal to you? Why did you dismiss them?
- What changes could be made to bring your current role more in alignment with your ideal position?
- What would be your absolute limit in your role? What would be the factor which would cause you to abandon this role? How close are you to it? How can you get further from that?... Do you even want to, or are you waiting for this event to occur (which will give you the permission to leave without feeling guilty)?
So, after looking over these areas, does the role in question still meet your needs? Does it serve your sense of purpose and achievement? Are you TRULY happy remaining where you are? Would changing your role necessarily mean leaving your role (or would reconfiguring be sufficient)? Only you can answer these questions for yourself, and weigh up the aspects to see what is the best course of action for yourself and this current moment in time. You are the expert in your own feelings, and your life. These are just prompts for consideration.
Best of luck in whatever you choose. Be brave, be bold, be brilliant. Be yourself!
Thanks for reading.