Work. It is something which can take up quite a significant portion of your life. It’s the way which you fund your lifestyle, and you use your education to help you reach your potential in the world of careers. Surely you want deserve to do something you enjoy? But it turns out that there are millions of people who are doing jobs they hate. Sound familiar?
There can be any number of reasons why people do these jobs, sometimes these people may not even be aware why they are settling for such roles (and settling is exactly what they are doing). This also extends to non-working roles such as those in relationships. For instance; parent, child, carer, or partner. These roles can become habitual, to the extent that they are no longer even acknowledged, and then become part of the identity of the individual.
Is that what you want? Do you want this role to define you, to become your identity? Is that who your are? or could you be so much more?
If you’re dissatisfied with your lot in life, then it isn’t too late to change it. It will require hard work and perseverance, but it will be worth it. Here are some things which you can examine, to help find that passion again.
- Ask yourself what this role represents for you, and what remaining in it provides you (be brutally honest). For something such as work, it can be merely a way to pay the bills for one person. For another, their job can feel like their life’s calling, and is incredibly fulfilling. But staying in a role which has been dictated to you, can be a way to ‘not rock the boat’, which may provide stability and validation by others – satisfying a need for acceptance, and even love in personal roles.
- Get mindful and listen to your gut. You may have been suppressing your intuition for a while, now is the time to get back in touch with your instincts. Do you feel that little flutter in your stomach that keeps you ever-so-slightly on edge all the time? Or is it a cold, hard, numb feeling in your heart that says “you’ve shut yourself down”? Look for anything which feels like resistance and tension. This will be a sign that you don’t feel aligned with what you are doing. If you feel light and effortless in your role, then you are doing fine. If you dread doing the relevant activity, then that is a clear sign you aren’t happy.
- Analyse how you feel about the role at different levels, and what your ideal situation for each would be. This may include;
- Environment in which it takes place.
- Behaviour it involves (for yourself and others).
- Your capability in that area.
- The beliefs and values expressed in that role, and how well they align with your own.
- The identity you have in that role, and how closely this resembles your true identity.
- What possible alternatives have you either dismissed, or not even entertained before? Why did these appeal to you? Why did you dismiss them?
- What changes could be made to bring your current role more in alignment with your ideal position?
- What would be your absolute limit in your role? What would be the factor which would cause you to abandon this role? How close are you to it? How can you get further from that?… Do you even want to, or are you waiting for this event to occur (which will give you the permission to leave without feeling guilty)?